20111212
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I just dont get how one minute someone is alive, and the next minute they're gone. i just cant wrap my brain around it...one minute you're smiling and laughing and making plans, then all of a sudden the future you wanted is gone. then you're burying the person you love the most, really? i just dont know. i can't imagine this to be real, i don't want to experience it. when i was doing chores earlier, i thought to myself that i want to die before i see any of my family die...then i thought...how selfish of me. i want to impose suffering on them, to spare myself. ugh.
?
going bonkers in the state of TX. restless. sleep escapes me, when i do sleep i awaken only to realize the reality of life. i shall be optimistic, yes.
...
i don't want to deteriorate in front of my family.
i don't want people to remember me as a sick person.
i want to be remembered for what i contributed.
basically, here is my eulogy, followed by a summarized version for an obituary.
Rebecca Mia Cedillo was a family oriented person. She enjoyed spending time with her 5 sisters, 3 brothers and 8 nephews. Her favorite thing to do with them was playing scrabble, apples to apples, and of course sitting together at a table full of food conversing about the little things in life. She loved kittens, and volunteering at local animal shelters. Obtaining a college degree was important for her, though she was frequently challenged by taking classes she didn't particularly enjoy (algebra and government!). She maintained a high GPA through out college, and stated that as one of few things she was proud of herself for. She lived an enriched life, prior to her death she often pondered what it would be like to pass. This scared her at first, but she was able to use her faith in Christ to overcome the fear, and came to terms with the unknown. She enjoyed all church related activities, particularly the nativity held at Christmas time, and the candle lighting ceremony she attended with her mom. She was full of life, and enjoyed helping others. Volunteering at the Bishop Storehouse, tutoring at risk children, and raising money for the CF foundation were some of her favorite things to do when she wasn't with her family or at school. She shared that her favorite memories were the moments with her mom. The insignificant things, she said. She recalled a time where she and her mother went grocery shopping and purchased ready to eat chicken, and coca cola. It was winter time, so they ate in the car, and then rushed the groceries in to sleep off their full bellies. She particularly enjoyed singing Beatles songs, cracking jokes and shopping at various thrift stores with her mother. She couldn't have hand picked a better mother herself. Her best friends were her siblings. She had a sibling for "every subject" she needed help with. Music, technology issues and exotic food- Adam. Cars, guns and gossip- Matthew. Humor and sarcasm- Bubba. Church, relationships and drama- Summer. Recipes, budgeting and creativity- Vanessa. Jokes, games, and humor- Chrissy. Serious issues, and funny issues- Angie. Recipes, friends, and Harry Potter (or Twilight)- wee wee. She could talk to her mom about anything, which she was very grateful for. She didn't think she was a hard worker, but her results proved otherwise. Managing two jobs, and school full time, she always made time for family. Her life goals included teaching psychology at a university, adopting a child (a girl, Ava Marie, and a boy, whose name she couldn't decide...speaking of which, she often wondered why websites said "baby names" as opposed to simply "names" after all, their name would stick with them far after the baby stages of life...hmm), beating Pac Man in its entirety, and eating a 72oz steak. She enjoyed spending time with her husband, Craig. Who was continually supportive, often caring for her and the kittens they owned. She enjoyed decorating their apartment for each season and holiday, watching movies with him, eating tons of junk food, and cracking jokes followed by fits of laughter. She was most thankful for his handsome smile, that was sometimes the only driving force she could find. Rebecca felt as if she lived her life to the fullest. She wishes not to be remembered as "the sick girl," but only as the Rebecca who did all she wanted in her time here on earth. She asked that her death not be mournful, however, that it is indeed a celebration of a life that was well lived. She now resides with Our Heavenly father in his kingdom, untill we meet again. *cue my heart will go on*
Obituary, as printed in the Dallas Morning News and 25 other news printing companies:
Rebecca Mia Valle (Cedillo) passed away June 27th 2019. Rebecca had a zest for life, enjoying every moment she was blessed with. She enjoyed spending time with her family and husband. She hoped to live to see a cure for Cystic Fibrosis, but was not able to. She felt confident that everything truly does happen for a reason. She asks that she be remembered for the funny, loving person that she was, and not a sick girl. She obtained her degree in education and psychology, enjoyed tutoring at risk children, and most of all, liked to relax with a game of scrabble and her family. She leaves behind: Craig Valle (husband), Adam, Matthew and Tomas Urzua (brothers), Christina Nichols, Patricia Nichols, Angela Rodriguez, Summer Martinez, Vanessa Urzua (Sisters) Patricia Urzua (Mother) Bob Saget (Father) and nephews Dominic, Adrian, Gavin, Ethan, Johnathan, Christopher, Xavier and Isaiah. and a great niece Nayelli. Donations to the CF Foundation may be sent in lieu of flowers.
i don't want people to remember me as a sick person.
i want to be remembered for what i contributed.
basically, here is my eulogy, followed by a summarized version for an obituary.
Rebecca Mia Cedillo was a family oriented person. She enjoyed spending time with her 5 sisters, 3 brothers and 8 nephews. Her favorite thing to do with them was playing scrabble, apples to apples, and of course sitting together at a table full of food conversing about the little things in life. She loved kittens, and volunteering at local animal shelters. Obtaining a college degree was important for her, though she was frequently challenged by taking classes she didn't particularly enjoy (algebra and government!). She maintained a high GPA through out college, and stated that as one of few things she was proud of herself for. She lived an enriched life, prior to her death she often pondered what it would be like to pass. This scared her at first, but she was able to use her faith in Christ to overcome the fear, and came to terms with the unknown. She enjoyed all church related activities, particularly the nativity held at Christmas time, and the candle lighting ceremony she attended with her mom. She was full of life, and enjoyed helping others. Volunteering at the Bishop Storehouse, tutoring at risk children, and raising money for the CF foundation were some of her favorite things to do when she wasn't with her family or at school. She shared that her favorite memories were the moments with her mom. The insignificant things, she said. She recalled a time where she and her mother went grocery shopping and purchased ready to eat chicken, and coca cola. It was winter time, so they ate in the car, and then rushed the groceries in to sleep off their full bellies. She particularly enjoyed singing Beatles songs, cracking jokes and shopping at various thrift stores with her mother. She couldn't have hand picked a better mother herself. Her best friends were her siblings. She had a sibling for "every subject" she needed help with. Music, technology issues and exotic food- Adam. Cars, guns and gossip- Matthew. Humor and sarcasm- Bubba. Church, relationships and drama- Summer. Recipes, budgeting and creativity- Vanessa. Jokes, games, and humor- Chrissy. Serious issues, and funny issues- Angie. Recipes, friends, and Harry Potter (or Twilight)- wee wee. She could talk to her mom about anything, which she was very grateful for. She didn't think she was a hard worker, but her results proved otherwise. Managing two jobs, and school full time, she always made time for family. Her life goals included teaching psychology at a university, adopting a child (a girl, Ava Marie, and a boy, whose name she couldn't decide...speaking of which, she often wondered why websites said "baby names" as opposed to simply "names" after all, their name would stick with them far after the baby stages of life...hmm), beating Pac Man in its entirety, and eating a 72oz steak. She enjoyed spending time with her husband, Craig. Who was continually supportive, often caring for her and the kittens they owned. She enjoyed decorating their apartment for each season and holiday, watching movies with him, eating tons of junk food, and cracking jokes followed by fits of laughter. She was most thankful for his handsome smile, that was sometimes the only driving force she could find. Rebecca felt as if she lived her life to the fullest. She wishes not to be remembered as "the sick girl," but only as the Rebecca who did all she wanted in her time here on earth. She asked that her death not be mournful, however, that it is indeed a celebration of a life that was well lived. She now resides with Our Heavenly father in his kingdom, untill we meet again. *cue my heart will go on*
Obituary, as printed in the Dallas Morning News and 25 other news printing companies:
Rebecca Mia Valle (Cedillo) passed away June 27th 2019. Rebecca had a zest for life, enjoying every moment she was blessed with. She enjoyed spending time with her family and husband. She hoped to live to see a cure for Cystic Fibrosis, but was not able to. She felt confident that everything truly does happen for a reason. She asks that she be remembered for the funny, loving person that she was, and not a sick girl. She obtained her degree in education and psychology, enjoyed tutoring at risk children, and most of all, liked to relax with a game of scrabble and her family. She leaves behind: Craig Valle (husband), Adam, Matthew and Tomas Urzua (brothers), Christina Nichols, Patricia Nichols, Angela Rodriguez, Summer Martinez, Vanessa Urzua (Sisters) Patricia Urzua (Mother) Bob Saget (Father) and nephews Dominic, Adrian, Gavin, Ethan, Johnathan, Christopher, Xavier and Isaiah. and a great niece Nayelli. Donations to the CF Foundation may be sent in lieu of flowers.
20111208
Survivors Remorse
When I hear the term "survivor's remorse" my mind is immediately directed to a soldier who just lost his battle buddy. When he returns home, he goes into a depression, when he sees his buddy's wife, he wonders why is he still here. For me, it's something different. I've known quite a few people with cystic fibrosis (CF) who die. Yes, it is a chronic disease that most likely results in death from lung failure. A few years ago I became friends with someone on Facebook who had CF. His name was SR, and I thought it would be cool to have someone to talk to. I was drawn to his lifestyle and how he coped with this disease. though, shortly after befriending him, I decided to delete him. I couldn't be friends with someone who had the same disease as me, who was deteriorating on a scale much faster than my own. I felt guilty. Well, now....its even worse. A friend asked for prayers for SR and I had completely forgotten about him. I saw his photo, and quickly remembered him. He is dying. He recently married, and I cannot fathom my husband C. dying before me after such a short, but beautiful time together. Life is so unfair. I cried my eyes out for an hour or two. Why am I allowed to have this life when others cannot? He and I are the same age, yet he is dying. I'm perfectly fine...I suffer from survivors remorse.
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