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I just dont get how one minute someone is alive, and the next minute they're gone. i just cant wrap my brain around it...one minute you're smiling and laughing and making plans, then all of a sudden the future you wanted is gone. then you're burying the person you love the most, really? i just dont know. i can't imagine this to be real, i don't want to experience it. when i was doing chores earlier, i thought to myself that i want to die before i see any of my family die...then i thought...how selfish of me. i want to impose suffering on them, to spare myself. ugh.